


too much i' the sun

by mildlydiscouraging



Series: the weight we carry [1]
Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Daddy Issues, Families of Choice, Gen, High School, References to Hamlet, Shakespeare Quotations, Theatre Kids, Theatre Kids with Daddy Issues; News at Eleven, drama club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 10:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7753711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildlydiscouraging/pseuds/mildlydiscouraging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil joined drama because he wanted to perform, shockingly enough. As if he didn't do plenty of that at home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	too much i' the sun

**Author's Note:**

> this is part of a ridiculously extensive au that you can read the basics of [here](http://moonfullofstars.tumblr.com/post/147723269273/) and see my random inspo & edits for [here](http://moonfullofstars.tumblr.com/tagged/maudpsv).

Neil joined drama because he wanted to perform, shockingly enough. As if he didn't do plenty of that at home.

Even before he had even started high school it was already the hardest thing he'd ever done. The previous summer, Neil had taken an AP prep course at his father's insistence so he could take the new courses they'd opened up to freshmen his year. Once the actual classes started, it had been assignment after assignment, to the point where Charlie had to drag him bodily out of the library to get him to celebrate his own birthday.

After that and the brief intervention that followed, it calmed down a little. Neil stopped studying three chapters ahead for every class, went back to movie nights at Gerard's, managed to read a book or two that wasn't on the syllabus. He even joined a few clubs—math team to satisfy his father and yearbook to actually meet new people.

It was because of yearbook that he heard of drama. The returning members of the club always assigned newcomers to write about one club and photograph another, to diversify their experience or something like that.

Neil was pretty sure it was just because the seniors were lazy and didn't want to have to run around finding all the administrators, but he did it anyway. The writing was easy—he didn't really have to know too much about the actual football team to crank out a few praises. For his photos, though, Neil was assigned the drama club he didn't even know they had.

"Yeah, they're kinda nomadic," the senior he was paired up with explained. "I think they're on the stage most days, except for when the choir kids need it on Thursdays. You can probably find them there after school."

After throwing some excuse at his father, Neil borrows a camera from the photography club and hangs it around his neck as he makes his way to the auditorium.

When Neil pushes the door open, the room is pitch black, the only light what escapes from the hallway behind him. Just as he is about to call out into the dark to see if anyone is there, a single spotlight clicks on, reveal an actor in a ragged overcoat and turtleneck alone on the stage.

"O, that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew!  
Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God! God! How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, seem to me all the uses of this world!"

Neil steps further into the auditorium, letting the door gently fall shut behind him. Something about the words is so hypnotizing and Neil feels himself being drawn to the stage until he can rest his elbows on the wall in front of the orchestra pit. He completely misses the small group sitting in the middle of the seats.

The actor continues their speech and the words wash over Neil, relentlessly emphatic. Something about the rhythm and rhyme capture feelings Neil thought could never be put into words, and as the speech winds down, Neil feels the sharp tug of belonging.

"But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue," the actor says, and Neil knows immediately that he needs to never leave, needs to stand up on that stage and be the one to let the words wind out through the room and fill every corner.

A smattering of applause knocks Neil out of his own thoughts, and the house lights come up as he turns around to see a few people sitting four rows behind him.

"Bravo, Jamie," one of them calls out, and the actor onstage whips off their beanie, hair billowing out, and bows dramatically.

"Thanks," Jamie says as they descend the stairs into the orchestra pit and then back over the wall to meet the other students.

"Are you the yearbook kid?" Someone from the lighting booth in back calls out.

Neil, eyes still wide and slightly embarrassed, nods and holds up the camera. "Yeah, I'm Neil Perry, I'm supposed to take pictures?"

Whoever is up there turns off the spotlight before opening the door and joining the rest of the club. "Cool. I'm Eric, I'm technically in charge." Neil recognizes him from the lunchroom, where he's seen the other boy sitting on the floor in the hallway with a group of people instead of at a lunch table. Actually, it seems as though the rest of the club members are that same group.

They go around introducing themselves, shaking Neil's hand and even high-fiving him on some occasions. There's Eric, a senior with an eyebrow piercing and fingerless gloves; Lou, also a senior, who is wearing jean overalls two sizes too big and is painting the mural out back by the soccer field; Jamie, their androgynous Hamlet; Lily, the set painter; Bo, who normally runs the lights and tech; Elliot, the stage manager. All of them are seniors, all of them people Neil barely recognizes, all of them eight hundred times more interesting than most of the people Neil shares classes with.

"You didn't by any chance get any pictures of me up there, did you?" Jamie asks after they all finish introducing themselves.

Neil regretfully shakes his head as Elliot says, "Nah, he was too enchanted."

Lily slaps his arm and gives him a pointed look as he asks, "What? It's true. I saw him walking up, the dude was completely hypnotized."

Suddenly the camera around his neck is fascinating and Neil finds himself distracted by the lens cap. "You were very good," he says in the direction of Jamie's feet. "I've never heard anything like it."

"Not a big fan of Shakespeare?" Lou says, brushing her hair out of her eyes with an ink stained hand.

"No," Neil says, "I've just never heard it before. I mean, we read 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' last year in English, but I've never seen any of his stuff performed before."

That raises a few eyebrows around the group, but Jamie is the one who speaks up. "You wanna stay around and see some more?"

It feels like the crossroads of something, though what, Neil doesn't know yet.

"Yeah, sure."

**Author's Note:**

> quotes and excerpts from [hamlet's first solioquy](http://genius.com/5210970). the title comes from the same scene and is a pun and is hilariously sad in this context. i strongly believe hamlet would b neil's favorite shakespeare play and yall can fight me on that.
> 
> i really hope u enjoy this!!! thank u so much for reading.
> 
> tumblr @[moonfullofstars](http://moonfullofstars.tumblr.com)


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